31.6

 

“So if Hasmed isn’t going to take God’s place, who is?” Roisin has a feeling of dread weighing her down like three helpings of Tiramisu after a Balti and a Naan bread. “Which of the seraphs can take over?”

“Any of them, really, though the rightful inheritor would be the Creator’s second in command.”

“And that is..?”

“Lucifer, of course. He was the Creator’s most beloved angel, until the Fall.”

“Is that when a third of the angels rebelled against God?”

“That’s right. Ane we were cast down to the Pit for daring to voice an opinion. It would be like complaining to HR about the boss being inappropriate with the customers, and instead of addressing the issue HR just fires everyone who signed the petition. Unfair dismissal, they call it now, but in those days it was ‘Eternal damnation.” Astaroth makes air quotes with his fingers. “Anyway, suffice to say Lucifer wasn’t close enough to grab it so Gabriel did. There’s a shuffle of power going on right now, so it’s not certain Gabriel will keep hold of it.”

“That will eventually leave a vacant space at the bottom of the angelic hierarchy, but what about the others? Your side, I mean. Has there been no opportunity for the Fallen to all move up a rung on the corporate ladder?”

“Funny you should ask. That’s the whole reason I’ve been planning this move for the last couple of centuries.”

“Centuries?” Steve frowns. “Why so long?”

Astaroth frowns.” Two centuries is almost nothing at all. Merely a fingersnap in the history of Creation. I could arrange it so fast because the right set of genes came along. I jumped at the chance.”

“What do you mean, ‘the right set of genes?’” The assistant speaks for the first time since Roisin lost the mantle. “Have you been dabbling in eugenics?”

“I think you’ll find that’s a discredited field of research, according to modern science.” Astaroth smiles. “Unless you can actually manipulate the DNA after your subject is already born. It’s a fascinating subject, actually. All it took to start the ball rolling was a little push in the right medical student to abandon his career and turn to natural sciences.” He holds one hand up. “Now, I know to study genetics you’d naturally start with a doctor, but it was all a bit of a closed book to us mere Elohim. It wasn’t something the Creator wanted us to tinker with. It was bad enough when the Grigori did it in the first place, after that He put a complete block on the knowledge, so we had to you lot to do it for us by proxy. This is where the student comes in. Once we’d got him to learn anatomy and dissection, we shifter his focus to invertebrates and got the whole ball rolling.”

“Invertebrates? Insects? You manipulated the DNA of insects for two hundred years? To do what?”

“That was the elegance of the whole plan.” Astaroth grins and leans forward, both hand resting on one knee. “I used the lowliest of His creatures to topple Him from His throne.”

“Invertebrates aren’t the lowliest creature.” Steve has an air of authority about him, like a pompous headteacher, though Roisin thought it unwise to contradict someone who could terminate your existence with a snap of his fingers. “I think you’ll find that accolade goes to amoebas.”

“Fair point, but technically isn’t the lowliest of God’s creatures supposed to be the humble sparrow?” Astaroth dips his head briefly. “Nevertheless, His theory of evolution led his cousin, Frankie Dalton, who had noticed all his wife’s family had a similar, beady-eyed squint, to develop a theory about breeding people of ‘good stock.’ That led to his arranging the marriage of his daughter, not to the wealthiest bachelor he could scour the Peer’s list for, but a man of decent but humble stock, though not a commoner, obviously, thus providing admirable genetic stock for us to find genes that would match Famine’s… I want to say ‘DNA’ but angels not made of that… so, stuff.”

Paul scowls. “Famine? The mantle she almost took?”

“That was a bit touch-and-go, I have to admit.” Astaroth at least has the decency to look sheepish about the admission. “Anyway, the advances in genetic research led to your grandfather, Roisin, and then your mother, and then, with a small donation from an anonymous but efficient sperm doner, you.” He held his hands up like a magician finishing a trick. “And then it was just a matter of giving you the right nudges until you became ready to accept the mantle of Knowledge the Grigori had so carefully hidden away after the Flood.”

“And then Hasmed took it from me.”

“Yes, quite. That’s buggered everything up.”