Chapter 3.5

 

"Oh, there is." Probably-Paul nodded several times. "It's separate. You can get to it through the back garden, or take the next right, then right again if you're driving." His eyebrows raised hopefully. "Have you got a car, then? Only you can't park outside here."

"Is it double-yellow lines?"

"No. The neighbourhood kids will smash it up for a lark."

"Good job I don't have one, then." She frowned. "My rent is supposed to include use of the garage."

"Yeah. Good luck with that. Steve's got the only key."

"That's hardly fair if I'm paying extra for it. I'll contact the landlord."

Probably-Paul laughed. "You can try. The landlord is Steve's dad."

"The more you tell me, the more I feel I've been completely ripped off."

"It's not all bad. We get a discount on the council tax and bin levy because a resident has disability benefit."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realise..."

"Not me. Steve." Probably-Paul tapped the side of his head with one finger. "He has some..." He closed his eyes for a moment, as if he had an autocue on the back of his lids. "Issues. Best not get him riled up." He pointed to a hole in the plastered wall. "Don't forget the sugar if you make him a cup of tea."

"Gee." Roisin shook her head, wondering how she'd survive long enough to get another place. Perhaps she could say she was in danger from this Steve and get the council to bump her up the housing list.

Probably-Paul laughed. "He's not as bad as he sounds. If he likes you, he'll give you his last tenner or the shirt off his back. You won't see him very often, anyway. I can't even remember the last time he stayed here overnight. Not that you can ever tell his dad that, mind. He thinks we keep an eye on Steve for him. Make sure he doesn't land up in hospital or something."

"And do we? Look after him, I mean."

"Nah. He looks after himself. He's fine, most of the time, but then most people go off the rails once in a while."

"I suppose so." Roisin began to climb the stairs. "Which is my room?" She ducked under the ceiling dip, noticing that it had been hit so many times some of the plaster was missing, and the edge had been covered with some pipe lagging foam.

"Turn right when you get to the top. It's the room at the front of the house."

"I thought it might be."

He began to follow her up, leaving her portfolio down in the hall. "What do you mean? Did they tell you when you booked the let?"

"No. I just noticed it had a broken window when I got here."

"Right. Yeah. Peterson was supposed to have sorted that, but we've been waiting three months already. I think Barry taped some plastic over it, so it should be fine."

"Is Barry Peter's son as well?""

"Who?"

She paused at the top of the stairs and looked down at him. He looked even taller from this angle, as if he were elongated in an Escher print. "Barry. I'm assuming Peter's the landlord."

He shook his head. "Nah. Barry was the guy who had your room before. He moved out at the end of July."

"He was a student?"

"Catering. He used to make some amazing food. Can you cook?"

"Not really. Beans on toast is about my level. Assuming there's a toaster. And a microwave."

"Yeah. All mod cons here." Probably-Paul laughed as he began climbing the last few stairs. "No oven, though."

"No oven?" Roisin stared back at him. "How can it be a 'fully equipped kitchen' if there's no oven?"

"Is that what it said on the website?" He laughed. "Yeah. I suppose technically there is an oven, only it doesn't work, and even if it worked, it's not connected."

"How can they rent a flat if there's no oven?"

"Well, the landlord doesn't know there's no oven. When t broke, Barry just said 'fuck it' and bought a top-of-the-market culinary range and connected that up."

"And took it with him, I presume."

"That's right. You're not as green as you're cabbage looking."

"Maybe I can have a go at fixing the old one. I'll have a look. What was wrong with it?"

"Steve." Probably-Paul's lips tightened into a thin line. "He tried heating a pizza in it."

"Has the element gone, then?"

"The element, the shelves, the door and two of the hobs." He reached past her to snag the door handle and, contrary to everything she expected, turned it upwards to open the door. "He forgot to turn it on at the wall, so his pizza was still frozen an hour later. He was a bit annoyed."

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